i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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