I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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