chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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