Do you still have your period?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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