Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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