i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
