I puked a lego.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
