As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
