Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
