Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
