I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
