fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
