I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
