So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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