I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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