I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
