Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
