it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
