We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
