she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
