Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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