I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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