Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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