I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
