that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
