im drinking this country out of the recession.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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