I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
