you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize