the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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