my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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