sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize