I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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