Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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