Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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