i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
