I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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