It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
