im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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