sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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