And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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