i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
