brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
