your parents love me but you hate me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
