so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
