Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
