he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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