thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
