it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
