Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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