would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
