You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
