Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
