My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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