Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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