Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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