Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
