life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
