we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sobbing to NWA
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
